The Cutting Room

The Cutting Room

Jennifer's Body

Monday, September 28, 2009

For those who are new to this site or maybe a little thick, the overall premise of The Cutting Room is thus: E is an idiot.

It's an important concept to understand for today’s comic, as I don't want anyone to think his position is reasonable or remotely tenable.

Schadenfreude is an undeniably fun word to say, but as a thesis it is, in a word, incrediblyfuckingretarded. We are all one. To delight in another's pain is to delight in your own. All sadism is masochism and it makes you the kind of person I don't want to know, which is complicated since we are all one.

It is for these reasons that I die a little inside when I see people ecstatic that a movie they had nothing to do with has underperformed at the box office.

I've not seen Jennifer's Body and I probably won't, I've never seen a single episode of United States of Tara, and I probably won't, and I didn't find Juno to be the revelation that so many other people seemed to. In point of fact, I found it annoying, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have value, just that I wasn't into it. And, in her own way, Diablo Cody is good for entertainment. When her name is attached to a project, the movie is discussed as if the screenplay actually has an effect on the quality of a film. Even when people are bashing her without reason, or praising her without thought, they discuss her as though her work is a valuable, even critical piece of the framework. Which is madness. MADNESS. The average film goer and filmmaker tend to believe that the depth of the grooves on the tires that roll them to a movie has as much to do with the merit of a moving picture as does the films scribe. Just starting a conversation like this is truly God's work.

Sure her story is sexy, so it's easier to get behind it, more fun to talk about it and so on and yadda yadda. She spent a year or so as a stripper and at any given moment you're six seconds and a google search away from seeing her naked. These things will accelerate a career in a hurry, as Paris, Kim, Pamela and, really, we all know, and serve to further separate her from the likes of, say, Sorkin- Allmighty. But she's a woman in an overwhelmingly male dominated field, (women have won 9% of all screenwriting Academy Awards) and if she's the kind of kitten that one of the most beautiful, fierce and gifted women I've ever known can look up to, then she must be doing something right.

I'd also like to mention that a films success as a marketable product and it's success as, you know, a film tend to have a casual relationship at best. Take a guess which one I give a shit about.

It's been pointed out to me that today's comical offering likely has more value to those who are already familiar with--and fans of--all things 207 than those that are not and to that I can only say, "I don't really care." I love the heroes that have kept me afloat inside this dizzy life and if I can throw you all a little bone at my expense: awesome. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you may snack on the trailer for my first film over here. If after your taste you require a meal, there are options.

Get a beverage of your choice and remember we are only love,

E